Happiness is not happiness till you don’t have an album on Facebook

Yesterday I heard on the radio that Costa Rica has been declared the happiest nation in the world. They also have the smallest carbon footprint. But surely this data can’t be right. Visit Facebook nation. Each and every citizen here is deliriously happy.

See that extra large smile. See that tight ‘we-are-best-friends’ hug. See that friend who is not a friend he is a ‘soul brother’. Oh ha ha ha. That caption! Superb! So funny! See that party is extra happening. See we got extra drunk. See. See. See. See here is my life. See how much fun it all is. See my life. Show it to others. Show it to your friends, colleagues, janitor. Here, here. I give you full access. Check out my holiday.

Every emotion is felt only if it translates into a ‘catchy’ slogan. Only then can it become a status message you see. Only then can random people reply with inane suggestions captured in ‘catchier’ slogans. And when the replies trickle off, that’s when the desperate Facebooker goes into the worst Attention Deficit mode. He craves attention. And puts his miniscule brain to the most arduous test. Think , think, think. A catchier thought. A more dissonance creating feeling. A hotter issue. Another phone picture. A haircut? Maybe I should watch a movie. Maybe I should go out tonight. Maybe I can write a poem. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Should I make a ‘witty’ comment on Rakhi Sawants show. Hmmm. Let me think. Let me think. Rains? Nah! Too boring. Work! Too real.

(An aside: Wonder how much the camera industry has grown since Facebook. Alas! Nobody buys rolls anymore. Not the kind of people who are clicking themselves through every dull, boring day trying to make it appear shiny-happy for Facebook, Orkut, Chat sites. )

What’s mind boggling is this intense, all consuming determination to live for the world. Whenever I get on to Facebook, I have an insane desire to write pert replies. I do that sometimes. I add a LOL in the end to make things better. Or a smiley. Because then they will understand it’s ‘fun’. It’s the modern way of making everything okay.

So, for all the loyal Facebookers seething right about now, or quickly running a mental check on the ‘asinine-level’ of your last few status messages, LOL.