Love Wells Up

You take an old top knowing it is torn.
Damn. You’ll have to stitch it. And you are late for work.
Hell, where is the darn rip.
Where? It’s not there. It’s been stitched. Better than you would ever do it too.

You are half asleep. You are also half awake.
You don’t know what, but something woke you up.
You hear the curtains being drawn. And it’s suddenly dark again.
As you snuggle back to sleep you know what woke you up.
You know what made you go back to sleep.

It’s Saturday and you have to go to work.
As you pull on your jeans there is a pitter patter of feet.
Two large eyes and a little pink tongue stare at you from under your dressing table.
Sniff, sniff. Someone sure would be happier if you stayed back.

You are crying. Your friend is at the wheel.
There was a song playing and it reminded you of something,
someone you have lost. Or who lost you.
But you have mastered the art of discreet crying. Soundless crying.
The car stops for fuel.
Your friend comes back and puts a box of tissues next to you.
That’s it.

You swore you cannot sleep during the day.
You can’t siesta. No No No.
Then you are.
Very happily so.

A giant wheel ride.
You are screeching in sheer glee.
The person who took you for it is screeching in
(what I realized later was) pure terror.

You want to walk out on the beach.
It’s a moonlit night.
You just want to be alone.
It’s all too much to handle.
It’s your birthday.
But you can’t. You are not allowed to.
And just when you have forgotten you ever wanted to,
There is a concert on the beach.
And the waves are coming in.
And people are dancing. And it’s oh so beautiful.
And you know you have got your gift.

‘Here drink water. You are thirsty.’
How did you know?

There is a song that reminds someone of you.
Different people have different songs.
But it’s important to have it.
You have one for them too.

You have fever. The lights have been dimmed.
There is a guitar playing softly.
Your favourite song is being hummed.
Sleep didi. Sleep.

You wake up in the hospital bed and you see a face.
‘It’s not visiting time. You don’t have a pass. Don’t you have work.’
‘Hush. Sleep. I will be back.’

You have an early lecture.
You are dreading the walk to the station alone.
You come out of the building and suddenly it’s not so bad.
Your friend’s waiting.
She will attend your class. For you.

'I want to go to the library. You promised.'
'I am tired my darling.'
'But you promised.'
'Okay, I'll take you after tea.'

The fever has broken. It’s the middle of the night.
You are suddenly ravenously hungry.
You don’t want to wake up anyone.
But your little guardian is wide awake.
He is on your watch. You get into bed.
By the time he gets toast and tea you have lost your appetite again.
He waits, takes the tray, covers it up. You may eat something later.

People call you different things.
Try staying angry when someone calls your name sweetly.
Try staying angry when someone calls you by your sweetest names.

Some days must have been easy.
Most days must have been hard.
But someone always remembered to walk in with my favouritest snack.
Every day.

I never felt they were showing off
or was pressured by all of the above.
I just watched and knew that the way they love me
is the way they want to be loved.
The way they love me and how good I feel
is how much better I can love.